When They Don't Eat It
You served a food you thought they would like or would at least try.
And nothing happened.
It is easy to feel disappointed in these moments. But before you go there, pause and go back over what actually happened.
Were they hungry?
Did they look at the food?
Did they think about trying it?
Did they comment on it?
Recently, I put out a bag of dried apple. I thought I had a good chance.
Turns out I was wrong.
But when I reflected on what happened, I realised something important. They commented on it. That meant they knew it was there. I am also fairly sure they were hungry, which means they likely considered trying it. In fact, I remember them making a comment about it - a negative one.
This is not a bad thing.
That comment they made tells me they were deciding whether or not it was worth trying. They probably have tried it before and did not like it. And this time, they decided it was not worth it.
So, was this a waste of time?
One thousand percent, no.
Why? Because we both fulfilled our roles, and it was not a negative experience. I would describe it as a neutral one.
I offered the food. That is my job.
They decided whether or not they wanted to eat it. That is their job.
This is empowering for them. They were in control. They felt safe. They even tested me by making a negative comment, and I did not respond to it. That told them something important: I had no expectation that they eat it. I was not disappointed. There was no pressure.
There was an opportunity for them to try the food. They were hungry. They may even have felt motivated to try it. There was interest there. And they chose not to this time. But because the situation was supportive and comfortable, it is much more likely they will try it next time, or the time after that.
My job is to keep offering without pressure.
Their job is to keep making their own food decisions.
Maybe one day they will be really hungry, watching me eat it, and feel motivated enough to give it go.
If I get disappointed and stop offering it altogether, that is on me - and it does not help them.
If you are worried about your child’s eating, you are not alone. Many parents find themselves wondering whether their child’s limited food variety is normal for their age, or if it is a sign there is something more going on.
In my monthly newsletter I share reflections, practical support, and updates about upcoming resources, as I work toward creating a space for parents and carers who want feeding their child to feel calmer and more manageable. You are very welcome to join if that kind of support would be helpful for you.
You can sign up here: grateadventures.com/newsletter
Want more support?
If this resource helps but you’re still feeling unsure, here are a few next steps:
Ongoing support: Join the Grate Adventures membership for guidance, reassurance, and community
Personalised help: If you’d like individual support, you can book a session with me here:
